From Adult to Adult

As an adult, the most important life lesson I’ve learned
Is that there is no right way to function as a grown-up.
As a teenager, I watched your every step with disdain.
I was criticizing this and that,
All the things you did, all the things you said,
Cause I was too young to comprehend
How you went through so many obstacles, so much pain,
How you left your home, your native land,
Your friends and your family,
To make sure, I could live the live you never had.

As an adult, I look back
to the struggles we went through
(and there were plenty of them),
The things you had to do,
To be able to put food on our table,
To provide a somewhat stable environment for us,
To make sure you didn’t drown in your Sea of Responsibilities,
To ensure I didn’t miss out on any opportunities
That other non-immigrant kids already had.

As an adult, it’s more than clear to me,
That you must have had so many sleepless nights.
In retrospect, I understand all those fights
One grown-up has with the other
About money and who does what around the house.
I’m sure you will all relate to that one sentence we said as kids,
How we would grow up to become a better spouse,
A cooler parent, a greater grown-up,
Only to wake up twenty, thirty, forty years later,
Wondering whether we are doing everything right,
And whether we are, where we should be in life.

As a child, I never understood,
That my parents had six kids and not two,
They needed to be parents to me and my sister,
And they also became parents to their own parents.
It’s like Shakespeare’s “Seven Ages of Men.”
Life is a full circle moment:
The older we get, the closer we come to the stage
Of needing someone to take care of us again.

As an adult, I’m grateful for your eager insistence,
That I should learn to read and write in my mother tongue,
And that you made sure I never forgot where I was from,
And that I should never compromise on where I belong.
You also encouraged me to learn a new language,
To become equal part of another culture.
When you were anxious about your next step,
Tell me, who was there to hold ya?

As an adult, I realize that you, just like I, 
Have your flaws a nd your shining moments.
You made mistakes, just like I’m doing now,
At least we can agree that we try to learn from them somehow.

This year, maybe now even more than ever,
I caught a glimpse of your parental pressure.
This year, to a greater extent than before,
I want to keep doing my very best and even more,
To make you proud and be the best example I can be
To your other daughter, 
To let her know, just like you did for me,
That when times are hard,
I’ll always be there to support her.

© Elena Natroshvili

IG: 16minutepoetry