Apathetic

Today, when my family and I sat around the dining table,
The fish tasted extra nice,
My sister handed me some potatoes and rice,
And I wanted to smile, but I was incapable

Of faking what I didn’t feel.
My mom noticed that something wasn’t quite right
And because I didn’t want to fight,
I asked her how she prepared the meal,

Just to say something - anything.
It scared me how I had zero motivation
To engage in a simple conversation,
Because I felt nada - not a single thing.

Today, I tried to write about my ex,
But in the end, I didn’t,
Because I haven’t felt angry, elated or excited
About anything - 
In the last few weeks.

When I finally had that realization,
I goggled dissociation,
Because I needed to know,
Why I couldn’t feel
–Anything.

© Elena Natroshvili

IG: 16minutepoetry

Please keep in mind that poetry is fiction.