Love Letter From Your Biggest Hater

I promised myself I would never write a poem about you,
but then you took me by surprise, and now all I do
is catching myself wishing you would pull me into your arms,
wishing we could break down these desolate walls,
wishing we could drop the act and just be real,
wishing we could open up about how we feel.

Each night, I drift off with your image on repeat.
I’ve been advised to run from you, to get on my feet—
run as fast I can, but I’ve been feeling so numb for too long,
I’d rather endure the pain than just tag along,
I’d rather feel something than nothing!!!

When we talk, I look at you and wonder if you also see 
two hurt people in this room, not just one.
But as soon as I try to reach for you, you’re already gone.
I wish I could fast forward the days, 
I wish I could go back in time to catch another glimpse of your sight.
Instead, I’m caught up in rhyme,
instead, I’m lost in countless lines, trying to verbalise
the thoughts that only come easy to me on paper —
We’re both too stubborn and when I don’t give in, 
you accuse me of being a hater,
I’m caught up in you so deeply, 
I can’t find a way to show you what’s in my heart.
The only thing that would come close to being enough 
is making you a part of my art.

© Elena Natroshvili

IG: 16minutepoetry